Sober Stupidity

After yesterday’s post about donating to the libraries, I’d like to offer all of YOU a chance to win a copy of each of these books from me, too.

As an aside, I am still collecting names/addresses for libraries in need of two very scandal-ridden, juicy historical romances, so feel free to keep them coming.

But now it’s time for a confession…

I am often the victim of myself. I’ll admit it, more often than not, I am my own worst enemy. A wonderful example of this happened last Friday.

I was in a hurry to get dressed and drive my kids to school so I could get home before the ladies who were coming over to clean our house (hey, after you’ve had the flu, you want to take no chances of a lingering germ). So, like most mornings, I threw on my clothes, made my kids breakfast, packed their lunch, then took them to school.

I came back and walked through the house to make sure toys were picked up and all laundry was in the hamper, etc. Then I waited. About nine, two ladies arrived to clean an I showed them around and was walking here and there. Then I sat down and did some writing, got up, walked around, moved this, moved that, tried to be helpful.

About eleven, my husband comes home from school and we go into his office area to chat for a few minutes. Mid-conversation, the rude man has the nerve to ask me if I’d put my pants on backwards. Outraged he’d even suggest such a thing, I tell him no, they’re just pants without pockets. Ladies wear them, you know. He drops the conversation and we go back to talking about whatever, then I turn to leave and my husband who rarely laughs just starts laughing uncontrollably. When I asked what was so funny, between bursts of laughter he says, “Your parents are on backwards and not only that, but your fly is down!”

I reached back there and about died of mortification when I realize he was right! For the last two hours, I’d been walking around in front of people I don’t know with a gaping hole in the back of my pants. (At least I was wearing panties, I did feel better about that, but still…) Now, I tell this story, only because A. I live in fear that any embarrassing thing I do will wind up on the Internet anyway because some people live to make fun of others; and B. it might seem that writers are these fabulously presented, flawless creatures who live the life of glamour and are all around perfect, but we’re not. We’re a bit dingy, too–probably more so than average, even.

All right, I don’t really know exactly how you can comment back to this as my mortification is still present and I had the strangest urge to crawl under my desk as I wrote this; but if you can ┬ámanage some sort of comment, and even better yet, if you can top my story–and it doesn’t have to be one where you’re the star–then I’ll enter you into random.org and select three random winners to win signed copies of both books on Friday.

54 comments on “Sober Stupidity

  1. Judy DV says:

    If it’s going to happen to somebody….it seems it does happen to you. Thanks for the morning giggle. Sorry it’s at your mortification.

    • Judy DV says:

      I think that all my embarrassing moments are well tucked away. But one snuck out. I was around 16, at my uncles house where my cousins could get pretty mean and there were other people around as well. As I ran across the yard I look down to see my underwear around my ankle. It was quite a mystery. Somehow I must not have put both feet through both holes or I’m some type of Harry Houdini.

    • Rose Gordon says:

      It DOES always happen to me. How lucky am I?

  2. acade says:

    Oh my word. Rose I’m giggling over here too. Darn when stuff like that happens lol. I’m not entering but wanted to share my most embarrassing moment. It’s a pet moment and went on for months.

    I have 2 turtles that are about 12. When they were 6 Preston fell in love with his tank mate Roma but Roma was adamant about her, um, lack of interest, and let him know by leaving a nice set of beak marks on his tender bits when he tried to make an advance on her.

    Of course it happened at night so we had to go to the emergency vet at the vet school and then explain why we were there. Specialists had to be called in to deal with his bits. It also happened the day before we were going out of town so our pet sitter had to have his beans and frank put in her hands and unfortunately he had to have an amputation.

    But we found out they only amputated a tiny little bit because when we got back from vacation we put them back together thinking they’d be safe and once again we were at the vet school with beak marks and a swollen turtle penis where everyone in the waiting room just looks at you until finally someone asks how you know a turtle is sick and you notice you have every single person staring wanting to know the same thing. Then cringing when you have to say “well his penis was bleeding”. He took a long time to recover after having that sucker completely amputated the 3rd time around and now lives with his grandmom in FL (I’m in NC with Roma) for his safety. We’re still talked about at the vet school and get the “oooohhhh you’re Preston’s mom!” ;)

    ~Anna

  3. Ah, Rose, we’ve always had these moments of embarrassment caused by clothing.

    One day, I was at a restaurant with my husband and another couple. I had on a black shirt, black skirt, black leggings, and black boots. And a white slip. My husband and the other guy in our group got up and went on out, and my friend and I got up to follow a few minutes later. As I started to walk off, I realized I was being hindered from walking by something. Puzzled, I looked down, and there was my slip around my ankles. My glaring white slip. My friend burst into laughter as I reached down, stepped out of my slip and stuffed it into my purse. I couldn’t look at any of the other restaurant patrons, I just walked straight ahead, my friend and I both laughing so hard we could hardly walk. By the time we got out to where our husbands were, we had tears streaming down our faces, and it took several minutes for us to compose ourselves enough to tell the story. :)

    • Rose Gordon says:

      I’m surprised this hasn’t happened to me yet. Believe me, I compete daily for the title of Queen of Wardrobe Malfunctions, right up there with Lady O.

      Thank you for being brave enough to share!

      • Sarah R. says:

        I am just happy to read that you were wearing a slip. So many girls/women have no idea what those things are anymore. I was raised to almost always wear a slip.

  4. Tami says:

    You have obviously lost weight if you can get your pants on without “butt”oning/unbuttoning! :)

  5. Sarah R. says:

    Oh thanks for sharing that story.
    11 years ago the day after Christmas my husband woke up and went over to my brother’s house to have a serious conversation with him about something that had taken place on Christmas. He got up and got dressed in our somewhat dark bedroom. Anyway, in the middle of their conversation my husband looks down at his pants and realizes that he was actually wearing a pair of my jeans. It was a nice tension breaker between the two of them. However, I was not laughing when my husband came home and told me that he was trying to figure out why the jeans not only seemed short but loose as well. It’s always a sad day when your husband can fit in your pants but you cannot fit in his. Of course I had just given birth to twins 2 and half months before that.

    I also had my 8 year old (at the time) son escorted to me with his pants and underwear completely around his ankles at a local pizza place. He was notorious for leaving bathrooms without pulling his pants up and obviously the worker at the pizza place was not allowed to help him pull his pants back on. I was thankful that his shirt was long enough to cover the important parts.

    • Rose Gordon says:

      If my husband tried to wear my jeans, he’d know it. He’s so tall and I’m so short, my jeans would be like the under the knee capris. LOL

      That is TOO funny about your little boy. It reminds me of something one of mine might have done…

  6. darah says:

    I had to share this one with my husband… WOW! I’m not sure anyone is going to be able to top this, Rose… but in the interest of misery loving company and all that… here is one (there were many to choose from) of my more recent embarrassments. (Thankfully, I am not the main player… just an innocent bystander).

    We frequently meet my mom in a little town half way between our homes (which are over 3 hours apart) so that our kids can stay with her for a visit. This particular day we were going to do some shopping after delivering the kids so my husband’s parents tagged along. We all ate lunch together and the embarrassing moments began.

    My mom is not old… but her ear drums are. She can’t hear the t.v… you have to repeat yourself three times… and she practically yells when she thinks she’s lowered her voice. My father-in-law has a similar affliction and they both suffer from complete social apathy. On top of this recipe for disaster… the final pinch of salt is that they ended up on opposite ends of the table but wanted to have a completely inappropriate conversation. After multiple shushings, warnings, and elbows to my mom’s ribs… I finally stood up and walked away. I waited in the bathroom until everyone was finished. My cheeks felt like they could burst into flames.

    If you’ve ever wondered about getting older and losing control of your bodily functions, the sound of a surprise fart with frequent use of the word “poop” as a sound effect, and the various situations in which a simple fart would have been the best case scenario… you should have been sitting anywhere in that restaurant. You’d have gotten a complete education!

    • Rose Gordon says:

      Well I hope your husband enjoyed the tale. Good gracious. As if the pajama story wasn’t enough already.

      Unfortunately, I’ve been a the table during a few of those uncomfortable meals out in public. I just wish I could have been there for that one!

  7. Karen Miller says:

    I have a worker who is prone to doing stupid things with sharp objects at work. She has never really injured herself but I’m always telling her after she does something stupid that ” you are not allowed to injure yourself at work. Why? Because I don’t want to fill out the paper work” (Just so you all know she is 18 and she and I have a very snarky relationship with each other so I’m really not that callous). On Friday I got some signs I had been waiting for at work and I was opening one of the boxes with a box cutter and ended up stopping the box cutter with my Finger. My worker looks up at me and just repeats excactly what I tell her all the time. Except the difference is I actually did injure myself, had to get 3 stiches and still fill out the paperwork. So yesterday every time I picked up a boxcutter she had some comment about not hurting myself again.

    • Rose Gordon says:

      Oh no! I hope your finger is getting better.

      Loved the story!

      • Karen Miller says:

        Its fine. It is itching something fierce at the moment. I’m very much looking foward to getting the stitches out on Monday. They were supose to come out this Friday but because its right where i bend my finger the Dr wanted to give it a few more days to heal. I just know but this weekend i will be threatening to rip them out myself.

      • Rose Gordon says:

        My husband used to work in surgery and I can’t begin to tell you the stitches he’s removed for us: both times my youngest cracked his head open, my c-section, just to name a few. He’s also pretty good with derma bond and steri-strips. Of the three scars on my son’s forehead (you would NOT believe the things that boy has done) the one that looks the best and healed the best is the one that didn’t have stitches but that my husband used tape and medical glue on.

  8. miki says:

    I’m so sorry this has happened i remember wjhen i put my t-shirt backward… i only discovered it after school… a whole day * shame*

    if this open to international please enter me if it’s us only don’t worry at all^^

    • Rose Gordon says:

      Sure is open Internationally. Forgot to mention it before.

      Just a few months back I dropped my kids off at school and even walked through the school, talked to the teachers and all that only to be getting back into my car and realizing my shirt was on backwards the entire time! Fortunately, it had no words, pictures or design so the only way anyone knew it was on backwards was just because of where the tag was.

  9. Linda S. Merrill says:

    It is one thing to embarrass yourself in front of family or friends but I made sure I did it right so that not only do total strangers see what an idiot I am but I had to go out of state to do it!

    It was several years ago that after recently being widowed I needed to get away but to places that would not remind me of the times my husband and I spent together. It was my nieces 16th birthday and since she loves to get away with her favorite “Aunty Fun” we planned a 4 day road trip entitled ” Cities Nobody would ever go to on purpose!” Living at the Jersey Shore all our lives we needed to find obscure and 4 day accessible cities.” We chose Pittsburgh, Detroit, Cleveland and Buffalo ( no offense to any one who lives there that is reading this! – well maybe just a little offense…). But I digress as this is not what I consider my moment of stupidity….Actually 2 Jersey Girls on the road never took into consideration that at some point they would have to pump their own gas — into the car no less! In Jersey it is not allowed and an attendant must pump your gas. When my husband and I traveled out of state of course he always took care of these things. Well even though I was in my late fifties and my niece only had a drivers permit I figured I am a modern intelligent woman with a straight A niece in the car and we could do this – no problem!

    I pulled up to the first pump, got out of the car and realized that the gas tank access was on the other side of the car. Got back in car and drove to the next station. First rule in stupid moments – if you can’t handle embarrassment get the hell out of there!

    At the next station I was far more savvy and pulled up to the pump the gas tank on the right side. Demurely got out of the car and squinted to read the instructions. Swiped my debit card, put in the pin, hit enter, hit button to select grade of gas – lifted gas pump handle to fuel. opened door to gas tank…………….who was the idiot who wrote those instructions – no where did it say to remove gas cap before fueling. Needless to say after casually removing the gas cap and placing the gas pump handle in and squeezing handle until that little thing-a-ma-jig locked in to hold it in place I scraped my niece off the floor of the car and we went in to get some refreshment.

    Feeling like a pioneer woman who had conquered the wilderness by being able to pump her own gas, we got back in the car and drove away. Half way out of the station we heard a scraping noise and yes, as you have already guessed I forgot to remove the pump handle from the car and was dragging handle, hose and all back on to the interstate.

    Yes, I did return to the station. Yes, I did remove the handle and hose from the gas tank, Yes, I did go into the store to return it along with having to leave my name, address and phone number along with my drivers license ( I was surprised they didn’t want my fingerprints!)

    I am sure I must have mentally scarred my niece for life but I am sure with age and therapy she will recover in time. As for me I learned my lesson, Self serve gas is not for the faint of heart and that there is no fuel like an old fuel!!

    • Judy DV says:

      Oh my, I feel guilty laughing at some of these things. I hope you were able to laugh at some point. At 16 I worked at a gas station, had to ask to check their oil too. So this is strange for me to think of. I saw the mental picture of you dragging the house and just giggled so hard. Sorry.

    • Rose Gordon says:

      Oh, Linda, you always crack me up! That is just SO funny I believe I actually just hurt myself laughing.

      I grew up in Oregon (the only other state in the US that doesn’t allow people to pump their own gas). Fortunately, by the time I could drive, I’d moved to Oklahoma so I already knew I’d have to pump my own. However, almost three years ago we were having a road trip to New York and while in NJ, we stopped for gas. We pull up and my husband jumps out of the car only to have this guy with a thick Jersey accent start yelling something at him. We were both confused, so the guy starts banging on our car, yelling at my husband, presumably to get back into the car. My poor kids were terrified.

      • Linda S. Merrill says:

        The tee shirts in Jersey read,”Welcome to New Jersey…now go home!” That is usually only in the north end of Jersey but please believe we are all not that rude! It kills me that the Show, “Jersey Shore” depicts us as drunk, sex craved and obnoxious” when in reality we aren’t really obnoxious – just drunk and sex crazed! All kidding aside, all the kids in that show are from Staten Island, NY – only one is from Jersey and not even from the shore area! But I am sorry that you were treated that way – they’re really are some very nice people in Jersey – it’s just that you have to look real hard for us because we’re hiding from the mean ones!

      • Rose Gordon says:

        No need to apologize, Linda. It happens. I don’t think he was mean, I think he was just frustrated that we couldn’t understand him very well. Some people barely have accents and others… yikes.

        By the way, my mother-in-law is a Yorker and her boyfriend is from Jersey, so I know there are some real sweethearts up there.

  10. a new shop was opening down the road from where i work. so one day after i finished work, i decided to pop in to do a bit of shopping. i walked down afew different aisles and passed several plain clothed people who were putting out stock. taking a bag of sweets to the tills, i was informed by an employee nearby that the store wasnt open til next week!!!!
    noone had said a word to me as i wandered around with a shopping basket

    needless to say, i made a very quick exit and it was several months before i returned.

    • Rose Gordon says:

      Rachel, I, too, have experienced this type of embarrassment–twice. And both times with my mom.

      The first time I was 18 and my mom and I were going around the city and saw this great little scrapbook store that looked like it was going out of business. So we go in and start looking around. The lady who I assume owns it is behind the counter, talking to her friend who is also there. My mom and I are just walking around, looking at all the stuff, noting how things really aren’t discounted as if she’s going out of business and neither is there much selection. Just as we’re making our way toward the front with a few items in hand, we see the sign with the “Come in, we’re OPEN” facing us in the store! As nonchalantly as possible while hiding our mortification, we set our selections down and made a quick exit. We never did go back.

      Fast forward about two years, my mom and I are out and about in the city on the day after Thanksgiving. We’ve seen just about everything and gone in most stores we want to, then we spot a new Super Wal-Mart. It’s later in the day, about noon or so, so the crowd has died down and about half the parking lot is cleared. So we park the car and car walking toward the front, only to be stopped by this big burly guy wearing paint-covered overalls who informs us that the store isn’t even open yet, they’re still building it! It looked finished to us! LOL

  11. Judy DV says:

    I have one that didn’t happen to me but it took several times for me to remember this place IS NOT what it seems to be. There is a store in Phoenix called The Castle Megastore, It’s a big gray building that looks like a castle. A guy hubby works with took his wife and two kids and got to the store before he realized it is an Adult Toy Store. They hightailed it out of there. Really it looks like something for kids on the outside and I have NEVER been inside, really.

    • Sarah R. says:

      We have a Castle store that you used to be able to see from my son’s bedroom window, until the trees grew. We pass it every Sunday on our way to church. This one just has a castle facade on the outside but the sign does make a reference to it being an adult store and that Knights and Damsels are welcome. I am not sure which one you are talking about but there is an old one on Washington just into Phoenix that does indeed look like a castle, I think the older ones did. They used to be called Castle Boutique. Anyway, this one on Washington is right next to a strip club that used to have sign out that said “Disneyland for adults”. When I used to help my dad deliver cars we would pass it on the way to his friends car lot and whoever was in the lead vehicle would always turn their blinker on like they were going to turn in there. It was a fun joke for us.
      Oh at Christmas time the one by us had a banner hanging outside the store that read “Come Jingle Your Bells at Castle” I would laugh every time I drove by and for a couple weeks they had a sandwich board sign out in the parking lot advertising edible panties 3 for 20.00.
      I too have never been inside, but obviously have a lot of things to say about Castle stores. They always have protesters out in abundance whenever they build a new one.

      • Rose Gordon says:

        I don’t even know how to respond to this…

        When I was younger, the grocery story my mom shopped at was right next to two strip clubs: Jiggles and Lollypops…Yes, exactly what you’re thinking one for ladies, one for men. Anyway, she didn’t like turning out of the front of the grocery store parking lot for whatever reason and would drive around the back, right next to the clubs to leave. She once said she was always terrified our pastor would see her. LOL

  12. Lisa W says:

    Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry that happened to you but thank you for sharing as it really made me giggle :) I don’t really have anything too embarrassing…just slipping on the ice and falling in front of people. Ugh.

    Please don’t enter me but if you have any copies left I’m sure my library would love them. Monroe Public Library in WI. 925 16th Ave I think. 53566 :)

    • Rose Gordon says:

      I’ll be sure to send the books off to the library some time tomorrow. Thank you for suggesting them.

      I fell on my rollerblades in the middle of the neighborhood a few years back and I’m pretty sure I broke my tailbone when I did, but I was too embarrassed to go get x-rays.

      • Lisa W says:

        Thanks Rose!!
        You seem to be really accident prone :) I always end up with mysterious bruises that I don’t know how they got there lol

  13. Judy DV says:

    You jinxed me. Bringing this up had me do two things that were embarrassing. Although the 2nd thing can’t completely be blamed on me.

    First I accidentally sign into something under the wrong name, small mess, cleared up. Still enough to cause me to be red faced.

    Second, my trip to the dog park. Cooper goes right up to someone on a picnic table, and seems to pee on him or right next to him. I didn’t know what was going on as people jumped up from the table saying things, until I saw a puddle under it. I asked if it was my dog and they said yes. He NEVER lifts his leg. Today he did. I was mortified. Made it down the field to my usual table to hide my shame and warn all the people to watch their legs around Cooper.

  14. Alanna says:

    One of my most embarrassing moments happened in grade 10. I was wearing this black halter top and I had tied a bow behind my neck to have it stay put, and then I had a cardigan on top to hide my bra straps and back. I had the front of the cardigan unbuttoned.

    So I was walking down the hall with two textbooks being held against my chest and this guy who never really talks to me passed by and said “YES Alannnaaa” and my reaction was “huh?!” I kept walking and then I ran into my friend who was looking at me all wide-eyed and the first thing she said was “UHM Alanna your bra!” I look down and the top part of my halter top had slipped down revealing my bright pink bra. (I had no choice but to wear my pink bra because due to my laziness all my other ones were still in the laundry basket to be washed)

    Anyhow, the halter top was made of polyester material and I guess the bow I tied wasn’t tight enough, and it did not help that I had been carrying two heavy textbooks against me… I should have double knotted it for good measure). It was one of the most embarrassing and shameful moments I have ever had!! Compared to others my age I would say I dress pretty conservatively, and having my bra exposed like that was a mortifying experience. I probably made a bad impression on those students in the school who did not know me, but thankfully those who know me well would know I would NEVER think having one`s bra exposed is decent!

    • Rose Gordon says:

      I am so sorry this happened to you, BUT it did make me feel better! I don’t like to expose my undergarments, either, but sometimes it just happens. (On the plus side, at least you had the bra on and you didn’t pull a Lady O!)

  15. dg1389 says:

    Oh no! Well I have a few… a man came to my office as I was greeting him and walking him to the conference room noticed that his fly was open!!! I couldn’t tell him -how do you tell a man you’ve never met before that!

    The other two involve me… The first one I was wearing a black top had been in the office half a day when one of my co workers told me I had it inside out when she noticed the big white tag on the side.

    The next one was when I ended wearing 2 different shoes at work – didn’t leave my house with different shoes- I wear sneakers to work and have 2 pairs of shoes under my desk and when changing ended up with one of each and when I walked to the kitchen my boss brought it to my attention.

    Daniela

    • Rose Gordon says:

      I was somewhere not so long ago and this guy was walking around with his fly open. I tried not to stare, or giggle like the other ladies next to me, but when something fell out, I had to excuse myself from the room. I was so embarrassed for him and I actually felt partially responsible since I could have said something, but was too embarrassed to. A solution might be if there is another guy around, tell them and have them tell the chap with the problem. That’s all I can think of.

      Funny tangent, my husband had this pair of dress pants that could not stayed zipped. Every week for nearly three months I was constantly teasing him in the car about not zipping his pants. It took a while to figure out that it wasn’t that he was forgetting, but that the zipper was faulty.

      Thank you for sharing!

      • Judy DV says:

        Only you once again. It actually fell out? The poor guy. And it was in a room full of ladies? Sorry curiosity caught me on that one.
        I have a pair of pants with a zipper issue. I have to have a bag tie or something put through the hole and around the button.
        After your story, I think I’ll make sure hubby’s fly is always up.

      • Rose Gordon says:

        He WAS wearing underwear, but yes, he moved in a way that made it become VERY visible at his gaping fly.

  16. Amy Conley says:

    Many years ago, when my children were still children, I would drive them to school in my PJs. My hubby knew this and would always say, “One of these days you will regret this”. Of course, he was right, that time anyway.
    One morning we were running late, as usual, so I just jumped into the car with the kiddos to drive them the half mile to school and back again, in my PJs. This was right around the time most kids were begining to wear what I’d call pajama pants to school anyway, not that it mattered to me, I was just driving and dropping them off, I wasn’t walking into the school. We made it about 3/4′s of a mile and my car broke down. Luckily for us our neighbor was heading home and saw us sitting on the side of the highway. He ran the kids to school while I stayed with my car (this was long before cells phones). Once he returned we tried getting my car running, but it wasn’t to be. So I climbed into his truck, PJs and all and he brought me home. He promised to go back later in the afternoon to see if he could figure out the problem and get my car back home to him.
    Admittedly, this was not the first, nor last time I drove my kids to school in my PJs, it was the first and only time I broke down though.
    After hubby got home that afternoon, he and John went and got my car back to the house. John shared the story of my PJs, while hubby laughed and told him, and me later, “I am always telling her to get dressed first, but she’s Polish, she doesn’t know how to listen.”
    These days not only my hubby, but my kids and now even my grandkids make fun of me for seeing I have something on backwards, inside-out, torn (usually in a place I’d rather not have torn). It is just me. Clothes aren’t that important to me, most of the time, although I have been known to dress to the 9′s when the occassion calls for it, so I really don’t pay that much attention to what I’m wearing, or how I put it on. I figure I am covered and that’s all that matters.
    I do believe John and my hubby laughed about my PJ run to school though until the day John passed away. They both got a huge laugh out of it. And hubby would just shake his head and say, “That’s Amy for you” and he’s right, it is just me.

    • Rose Gordon says:

      This reminded me of my all-time most embarrassing wardrobe problem.

      Bob used to work at the hospital and had to be to work before 6:30 am. Not a problem most days, but since we only had one car for most of our marriage, it became a problem when my kids needed to attend a 2 day a week pre-school and I needed the car. So what we’d do on those mornings is we’d all get up and drop Bob off at work, then I’d drive us home, make breakfast for my kids then use the car to take them to preschool and go on errands (for a woman who spent 2006 to 2011 without a mode of transportation, this was the ultimate freedom lol). Anyway, because it was cold and early, I’d wear my nightgown with a robe or coat over it and pull on a pair of sweats, and bundle my kids up in blankets without making them get fully dressed and go.

      This wasn’t a problem at first, but one day we got a flat in the parking lot of the hospital.

      Of course, Bob and I had to get out of the car so we could jack it up and change the tire while he was dressed for work and I was wearing an oversized yellow T-shirt with a faded smiley face on it, purple sweat pants, flip flops and a giant frog robe. Yes, yes, that was me. Oh, and my hair was uncombed and going every which way. Sadly the jack that came with our car wouldn’t hold and the car fell off, prompting us to have to call someone to help us. While waiting, the hospital security people come to help–a very nice looking young man, I might add.

      Meanwhile, inside the car, my kids are starting to bounce around like little pin balls, because they’re fully awake and want to be up and moving (they were like 2 and 3). But it was cold and they weren’t dressed appropriately to get out of the car on such a cold day. But I wish I could have been in the car and not standing in my lovely outfit outside the car while all of my husband’s co-workers were coming in and out.

      Fortunately the security guard was extremely muscular and helped get the car back on the jack and helped with the tire.

      Unfortunately, the next semester, I was taking an online class at a community college and recognize the security guard’s name on the roster. While everyone is making introductory posts about why they’re taking classes, he says he’s there because he wants a different job. He doesn’t like being hospital security, though it does have it’s amusements and went on to tell the story of the gal who was dressed in a frog robe, yellow t-shirt that hung to her knees with a huge smile on the front, wearing purple sweats and flip flops… I could have died.

      • Judy DV says:

        That is unbelievable. Of all the men and all the places and all the women who dressed funky…he remembered you and told the story. And you were there. Did he recognize you?

      • Rose Gordon says:

        It was an online class, so no, he didn’t know it was me.

        Oh, our town isn’t that big, so it’s really not THAT surprising at all.

        And it’s hard to forget someone dressed so “lively”.

  17. Simi Chatterjee says:

    Thanks for sharing your story. It’s very very funny. Well, one of my most embarrasing things happened when I was in grade 7. I must admit that I didn’t have any idea regarding menstruation until the curse (yes, I still consider it a curse) happened to me. I had gone to Science City, Calcutta with my parents, a bro (close family friend) and an elder sis (brother’s friend). After watching a certain video of animals attacking and eating their preys, I felt nauseous. The blood was too much for me. So, I told my parents that I wanted to use bathroom. The sis took me there. When I went inside, I saw used pads, cotton, and blood. I got very very angry. It was like how could they do it, make it so dirty and not even clean up. I rushed out of the bathroom madly and told sis everything. She guessed what must have happened. She tried to make me calm, to stop me but I ran and announced the entire incident publicly to my parents, to bro and to everyone present in that place. My parents didn’t say anything. I thought that why they are so silent. Well actually, every single person in that room remained silent. So, I became silent too afterwards.

    Another one happened in grade 9 when I asked my English teacher (a male) what is the meaning of “Sex” infront of 60 other students.

  18. [...] for my earlier “Sober Stupidity” giveaway will be announced Sunday, as I’ve extended the deadline, so feel free to [...]

  19. Amanda D says:

    I have done things like that too. Maybe no one else but your husband saw since no one said anything. You can hope for that!

    One of many embarrassing moments that came to mind involved my youngest son a few years ago. He was 6 and learning to read. We live in Ohio and were attending a Cleveland Indians game. He said mommy I’m going to read all the players names. Well wouldn’t you know it but the next name that flashes on the screen is Indian’s player Kosuke Fukudome. From a sounding it out standpoint, he did an excellent job. Unfortunately it came out extremely loud and at a moment when the ballpark wasn’t very noisy. F*** You Dome. I said oh not quite honey but good try.

  20. Meghan Stith says:

    Thanks for the giveaway! We all have embarrassing moments!!

    mestith@gmail.com

  21. Have to add my e-mail addy here too.

    moon_princess111@msn.com

    aka Amy

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