Frank Discussion: Is this too much leg?

[Disclaimer, not for the squeamish or faint of heart.]

In January, on a hunch that I’d deviated from my previous pattern card when choosing book covers, I decided to have mine redone where the focus was more on the dress/background and no faces could be seen just as I’d done in the past. [Side note here, my husband still thinks the original Regina was super hot... Really? This just makes me shake my head, but whatever.]

As I was discussing with Lily Smith about what I’d like to see and she was sending me samples, I was also plaguing the inbox of a few of my readers who have dared allowed themselves to offer me opinions about things in the past. How fortunate for them, right?

I sent them the new idea for the lady to portray Carolina on the cover his His Yankee Bride:

Red Beauty

I don’t have rights to the original photo so I can’t post it, but without the writing there, it looked like you could see more leg, to be sure, and one of the reactions was, “Isn’t that a little leggy?”

Why yes it is, Carolina is the mother of three scandalous hoydens and a bit of an unruly one herself who probably would have loved to have sat positioned like in a chair in the middle of a field if she thought it would get John’s attention.

But Carolina isn’t my only “leggy” character. I have another who seems to have stolen the show:

Mr. Henry Hirsute!

This young man has no problems showing his legs to anyone:

Scandalous I tell you! Given the time period in which he is being discussed, he really should be more mindful of showing certain body parts to the world. But he doesn’t seem to–he shows off his long, strong legs, hairy abdomen, even his derrière, which let’s face it could use a trim. Manscaping, anyone?

I’ve personally had three of these: Harry (very original, I know), Mr. Fuzzinelli, and Quatzequatel (named after a famous Aztec god). Harry (who we could never agree on how to spell this: Harry like the man or Hairy like the adjective…) died a very tragic death: he was eaten by his own food. We dug a grave, had the funeral, laid him to rest and waited two years before getting Mr. Fuzzinelli who ODed. No kidding. At the pet store, they tell you that you need to put a sponge in their box so A. they can drink and B. it does something for the air, makes it more humid, I think; because we all know in Oklahoma there’s not a drop of humidity in the air…  What they don’t mention is that it needs to be a certain kind of sponge and that a regular old kitchen sponge will not do. Apparently, the sponges you buy on the cleaning aisle come pre-sprayed with all sorts of chemicals. Chemicals which kill tarantulas. And so it happened, that Mr. Fuzzinelli, spent too much time on and near his sponge that he ODed on the chemicals and died.

Ironically, this happened while we were away for a weekend and someone else was taking care of him. How wonderful for us that they saved his body… And so, another grave was dug, funeral had, and he was lain to rest.

Because the people felt so bad, they got us another one!

Sadly, my heart just wasn’t in it to take care of another one and he didn’t last too long. Just a few weeks, I think. I fed and watered him, but that’s about it. I just took care of him because he was there, I had no real attachment, so when he died, I didn’t try to investigate his cause of death, just gave him a flush and banished his tank to the attic.

I’m heartless, I know.

From time to time, when I get upset, Bob will ask if I need another hairy spider, if that will cheer me up.

No, no spiders. In fact, no spiders are welcome in my home any longer. When I was younger, I’d kindly remove them from whatever surface they were on and put them outside. These days they get the TP treatment. One in particular…

Last night after watching a very upsetting movie I went to bed. After tossing and turning a bit, I got up to go to my office and work for a while longer. And that’s when I saw him! That vile creature that dared allowed himself into my home without permission!

Brown Recluse

The picture isn’t very good, so it looks like a regular spider, but he’s not. He’s a Brown Recluse (or a fiddle back), one of the worst kinds of spiders there are! (My husband snapped this from about 10 feet away LOL) I don’t know all the details on what’s in him that does this, but his bite will kill your skin and the tissue underneath–then the tissue all around it will also die and the wound will keep getting wider and deeper. People have died from these and the pictures are horrible!

I was able to keep my calm so not to scare him and make him run where I couldn’t get him, but I did call down for my husband to bring me some toilet paper, ASAP, with which I killed the menace–then made an overnight call to the exterminator who will be coming out today if I have to go track him down and bring him here myself!

Anyone else have any plans for the day as exciting as mine? What about leggy creatures, who do you think is more appealing to look at: Carolina lazing on her plantation or the eight legs of a spider?

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29 comments on “Frank Discussion: Is this too much leg?

  1. This post is…interesting. I really don’t like spiders. *shivers* But, and I know this sounds crazy, tarantulas don’t bother me that much. They’re bigger and not so creepy, crawly. They are more like a pet instead of a creature to be feared. I’ve always been terrified that I would be bitten by a brown recluse. So far, I’ve never seen one.

    I’ve had an iguana and two rats for pets, so I guess a tarantula isn’t much worse. I had people freak out over my pets when they came to visit. LOL

  2. Anya Kelleye says:

    I am shocked at all the legs shown on this post!!! Shocked I say! LOL!

    I don’t much like spiders myself. I’m not terrified of them just, they get stepped on or TP’d at my house as well. Now bees on the other hand? Ack…I’ll go running for the house if one gets near me. Those things hurt!!!

    Love reading your blog posts. They make me giggle. ;) As far as anything interesting or exciting for me today? Just working out this evening and then work of some cover art. Have a book I’m reading to figure out the best cover for it. Then I really have to do some graphic art for myself and order business cards, etc for convention trips. I’ve been busy working on everyone else’s…..hahahaha. ;)

  3. Jeanne Miro says:

    Hi Rose!

    I loved this post! I must admit I’m also falling in love with your husband because mine would have just rolled over and mumbled for me to take care of any creepy crawly things! You would think that since I’m the only female surrounded by strong manly men that they would come to my rescue but instead they treat me like one of the boys and I have to handle any emergencies on my own.

    I consider them sometimes as creepy crawly things that need to be fed regularly and since I don’t want anymore in the house I’ve learned to have lots of flyswatters and other tools or destruction at the ready!

    On the other hand I loved Carolina pose lazing about on the cover of His Yankee Bride!

    If I had long shapely legs like that I’d show them off as well! Instead having rather short rather straight legs instead I usually keep them covered when possible but this morning I pulled the first dress I found out of the closet because I was running late. Of course my husband told me as I was rushing out the door to work it was too short and showed “too much leg” for a senior citizen to be wearing! I told him I then had reached my goal of having him jealous that the men in the office would get to see my shapely legs and he’d better be nice to me when I got home tonight!

    I think your cover made me do it!

    PS: Loved reading His Yankee Bride!

    • Rose Gordon says:

      Jeanne, I agree your dress choice yesterday was totally your subconscious pulling a Carolina!

      I probably shouldn’t say this because it might ruin your good image of my husband, but he wasn’t going to get up until I said the words “brown recluse”. His mom was bitten by one on her forehead in the 80s. She was told if it had been just a few inches over, she’d have died because the infection would have gotten to her brain in a day or two. As it is, she had a giant hole in her forehead that had to be cleaned and skin cut out, then she had to have skin graphs and whatnot. She’s able to cover it up with her bangs, but if you look close, you can still see where it was. Anyway, my husband usually sleeps through anything, but the words: tornado, earthquake and apparently brown recluse wake him right up. LOL

  4. Sandy Kenny says:

    I normally don’t mind spiders, but I am not particularly fond of ones that would have the ability to kill me. My son repeatedly finds black widow spiders at my mom’s house in Delaware. He freaked the hell out of me when he informed me that he not only found one, but decided to capture it and take it home with us (we live about 150 miles from my mom). Needless to say I was terrified when he informed me of this plan while I was driving and then nervously informed me that it “escaped” from the container!! Try staying calm while driving on the interstate when your child informs you that there is a deadly spider roaming loose in the van. Did I mention that my 3 other children (non spider-lovers) in the van all freaking out. Hubby was not available for this “lovely” vacation. Needless to say, we stopped somewhere to get a can of Raid and fumegated the van–repeatedly. We never found the spider body, though. Ugh!

    • Rose Gordon says:

      Sandy, my abs (which I didn’t even know I still had under there) hurt for a good 30 minutes after reading your story and the mental image it gave me. That is just too funny!

      • Sandy Kenny says:

        Forgot to mention that hubby thought this was hilarious. That is, he thought so until I told him that since the body was never found, we’ll never know if it really died…He’s even more terrified of spiders than I am, so now every time he’s in the van and feels something crawling on his leg or anywhere else, he gets real nervous. Sweet revenge! :) My son still has this fascination for deadly spiders, though, but has contented himself with just taking photos with my digital camera instead of trying to smuggle the deadly beasts. Hmm…maybe he can use this fascination to decide what he wants to study in college (he’s a junior in high school now)….

      • Rose Gordon says:

        Too funny! That is definitely the best part!

  5. Tami says:

    I love Jeanne’s reply!! I HATE spiders. My oldest daughter swears upon her braveness. However, let a spider (or any bug for that matter) get near her, she screams for her little girly-girl sister to come kill it. There is a constant conversation in our family about pets. Before I had children, I did have a cat (found an abandoned kitten at our church and took her home). However, after having children (and a husband), my theory is that anything born outside should just stay there (one less mess for me). My family, however, wants a pet. I keep telling them, “I’m thinking about it!”

    • Rose Gordon says:

      I totally agree with your belief: if it’s born outside, it belongs outside. Bob finally convinced me to get a dog last year after more than 7 years of begging. I’ll be honest, I’m not an animal person and I HATE being licked. This has been a huge adjustment for us. Oh, and the dog isn’t an ‘outside dog’ (or so he says, I put the dog out all the time). He’s half-pomeranian, half-toy poodle (called a pom-a-poo) so I understand the long hair thing, but good grief, I just have issues with being climbed on and licked.

  6. Heather says:

    Any number of legs over 4 is too much leg. I am terrified of spiders, so Henry and I would not be BFF’s. When I lived in Las Vegas, I kept my bike on my balcony of my apartment building. I went out there one day and there was a teeny tiny Black Widow making a little house on one of the spokes–you could see the red hourglass. Needless to say, I used almost an entire can of Raid on it. I wasn’t stepping on it or TP’ing that thing.

    • Rose Gordon says:

      Another great mental image! It’s a miracle you didn’t get poisoned with all of that raid! (Same with Sandy and her van.)

      Tarantulas have no shell on their back like most spiders, so all it takes is just a tap and you’ve killed them. That’s why they’re so hairy, it’s a deterrent/scare tactic.

  7. Sarah R. says:

    This post was yucky. I hate spiders and unfortunately, so does my husband. He will man up though and kill them for me. Depending on the size I have a hard time doing it myself, even stepping on them with my shoes on. We have the lovely scorpions out here and a few years ago found one in our house just about everyday. I have lived in the same city my whole life and this is the only house I have had that has had scorpions. My dad has lived here since 1949 and has never had a scorpion in his house. Almost four years ago my husband got stung by one while cleaning his side of the bedroom. I was not home at the time, but by the time I got home his whole nervous system was shutting down and he wound up spending almost an entire day in the ER. Scorpion stings aren’t really deadly unless you are one of the few who happen to be allergic to their venom, which my husband happens to be. We have now gotten this scorpion issue under control, but if you want to make my husband scream or cringe just show him a picture of a scorpion. The boys can’t even have fake ones.
    Brown recluse’s scare me. I actually know someone who got bit and thankfully got it treated right away and did not lose her hand, but she came very close to it.
    Oh and maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I am also terrified of most insects, especially crickets. I know they can’t hurt me but I hate that they jump all over the place.

    On a side note. I too loved the old cover of Regina, not that I thought she was hot, but I did love that cover. I like the new one too, but I still picture her in that pink dress and it is still that cover on my Nook.

    • Rose Gordon says:

      My dad grew up in Arizona and Texas where they had a lot of scorpions (and tarantulas) and talked about their sting. I’ve only ever heard of one person around here who has actually seen one…in his room…crawling on his PILLOW.

      What a blessing he got to the ER in time. I couldn’t imagine. And I can totally see why he doesn’t want to see pictures or allow your boys to play with fake ones!

      I’m glad you liked Regina’s original cover. I felt it was right to change it and I’m glad I did, but I liked that cover, too and I still have a copy of it in paperback at my house.

  8. Karen Miller says:

    ugh just what I needed to wake up to and see when I checked out this blog. Pictures of evil spiders. I’m with Heather, anything that has over 4 legs is just creepy, and anything with 8 legs is just pure evil.

    When I was around 10 I was bit by some ‘average spider’ (never did find out what it was excactly) by it was on my toe and my entire leg was swollen. The Dr were concerned about how much swelling there was and worried what would happened if I was ever bitten again closer to my neck. Thankfully I have never had that kind of reaction since then but I have hated spiders ever since.

    • Rose Gordon says:

      You’re welcome! I’m glad I could make your morning.

      Wow, what an awful experience. I’ve been bitten more times than I can count by spiders. I don’t seek them out, of course, but I’ve never had a reaction like that. Glad it got better and that it wasn’t closer to your head.

  9. Alanna says:

    Oh my goodness. I HATE spiders, and am absolutely scared of them.

    I remember this one time I was sitting on my bed reading, and from my peripheral vision I saw something move before me. When I looked up it turned out to be a spider that was dangling down from a web, slowly making its way down towards me. I got up carefully (so that I wouldn’t cause the spider on its web to sway and possibly fall), picked up the biggest book I could find, opened the book and slammed it shut on the spider. Thankfully, the book had glossy pages so I was able to lysol it afterwards. I couldn’t believe I did that though. I am more of a “cower in the corner and call for help” kind of person when if comes to spiders. LOL. I guess it was adrenaline.

    P.S If I ever found a tarantula in my room, I’d probably faint! I am more scared of tarantula’s than household spiders. Tarantula’s are aggressive and just gross. ugh.

    • Rose Gordon says:

      I’m sorry, but the idea of lysoling your book was just too funny. I know someone who LOVES to clean and if they read this, you probably just gave them an idea.

      Anyway, I think sometimes when you know that you cannot depend on someone else, you do what you must.

      None of my tarantulas were very aggressive. I’d let them crawl around and was never bitten, however, I did make him mad once and he flicked a hair on my skin. But that was about it. It didn’t really hurt, just uncomfortable.

  10. Judy DV says:

    Hate spiders, don’t even want a Henry or Harry. No way. In Indiana we had Wolf spiders. They were big. Many times if you squashed them…hundreds of babies would escape off of them and you had to do a really fast 2-step to get them.

    Here in Arizona…I was introduced to the most beautiful spider that exists, in my opinion. They are the most incredible color black, pure black with the pretty red design on them. Yup the murderess herself, black widow. Had them outside and in the garage but thankfully not inside.

    I’d be going nuts if a recluse was ever spotted. I know they are in the park around my house but haven’t personally met any and hope never to do so. Glad you got rid of him safely, Rose. Gives me the chills to think one was even in your home. The nerve.

    • Rose Gordon says:

      Yuck on the wolf spiders and their babies!

      I’ve seen wolf spiders, but never knew that about them.

      Agreed, the nerve of him! Because he was so rude as to come in uninvited, I didn’t even give him a burial…just a flush.

  11. Rose — I would rather look at one of your super hot heroes, but if it’s a choice between Carolina and a spider, I prefer Carolina. As the old 1970s song says “I don’t like spiders and snakes.” LOL!

  12. darah says:

    I’m a day late but I had to comment when I finally got a chance to read this post… I knew you had owned tarantulas as pets but the reality of seeing one on your hands is sooooo creepy! Never, never, never would I touch, hold, look at, pet,etc. anything with 8legs. I truly hate spiders… But worse than the web-building kind are the blood-sucking kind! Here in the Midwest we have ticks 3/4 seasons. They are technically part of the spider family! Gross… Eight little legs and they attach by burying their heads under the skin and then gorge on your blood. Creepiest thing I’ve ever heard of! The cover is definitely not too much leg… I love the pose (you know I have beef with the dress :)) If anyone complains to you that there is too much leg in the picture, just send them the pic of your super scary spider friend… They’ll change their tune.

    • Rose Gordon says:

      I HATE tics. When we go camping in the summers we always have to worry about those darn things. A trick: if you have one, put some rubbing alcohol on a cotton ball, then cover the tic. He’ll come out, then you can flush him or wash him down the sink.

      Because they’re flat you can’t squish them, so you MUST flush them…or fling them out the car window.

      Nobody had complained about the legs on the cover, I just thought it was a good introduction before flashing up spider pictures. LOL

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