Birthdays…

My youngest son and I are polar opposites. I hate attention, he loves it. It’s only as of late (as in the past two years) that I’d ever consider acting silly in front of others–see the T-Rex story for a month ago. My youngest though loves it and I think he gets it from my mom.

I, on the other hand, hate it so much that one thing I absolutely abhorred and dreaded growing up was going to a restaurant on my birthday.

I know, I know, some people totally love this. I did not. I always wanted to crawl under the table when the entire waitstaff would come by and start singing and clapping, all in the name of delighting my mom who had a camera in front of her face to document this glorious occasion and for me to get a (usually) free dessert.

One of the most memorable times that this happened was for my 13th birthday, my parents took me to McGrath’s Fish House, though I absolutely hated fish. Why did they take me there? Oh, because the birthday boy or girl, man or woman, got to wear something extra special on their head: a giant stuffed fish hat. And for as much as I gritted my teeth and ducked, that damn hat found its way on my head, then they sang and took a polaroid picture that they promptly tacked up on the cork board that lined the entry way to the restaurant.

Now, how is that for love: we go to a restaurant I hate and I’m made to wear a fish hat all for the entertainment of my parents–and it’s not my tainted memory, I will forever remember their cackles and giggles during the whole ordeal.

Fortunately, that’s been more than 14 years ago now, and I am just now to a place where I can talk about it without grinding my back teeth to powder. It has taken A LOT of therapy to get this far. However, I do believe the last hurdle (at least according to the shrink I’ve been seeing about this my entire life) might be to pull a Liberty.

Unfortunately, I won’t be able to be with my mom on her birthday this year, but I can do something special on here!

So, mom, as you might be expecting by now, I plan to post a picture. I spent more than an hour searching through all of my pictures of you and had several very promising choices–50s attire hula-hooping at my birthday, ┬ásponge curlers, tree-hugging (or rather shrug hugging in Salt Lake City), leg modeling in Baton Rouge, and so many others.

But alas, I couldn’t decide on just ONE pictures, so I have to post a few–starting with naughty statue you forced me to buy and place next to my front door:

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And then of course, there is the tin poster I saw in Galveston that YOU inspired:

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Fortunately, that’s not all you inspired, but a fun magnet, too:

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But alas, there is one–or, rather two–other things I know you influenced, because you take every opportunity to inform me that it’s only nine months from your birthday to mine…

Two things

 

 

Mom, I hope you have a wonderful day! Sorry I couldn’t be there, but I’ll try to call when I can!

And to anyone else out there who still has children at home, keep this in mind. Beware of how you chose to embarrass them today, for they could use the Internet to get even in the future! (Which, just in case anyone is totally offended by this post and appalled, you should know I wouldn’t have posted it if I thought it would upset my mom.)

17 comments on “Birthdays…

  1. Judy DV says:

    Oh, I had to go find the bobber sign and post it on Facebook and Pinterest. Told hubby I could own it for $8.95.

    When we go to get our freebies at the restaurant on our birthdays….we discreetly ask them not to sing. Always get humiliated for the other people being sung to.

    • Rose Gordon says:

      LOL I have the other one that has a man on it and says, “Fish naked and show off your rod!”

      I don’t ask for the free cake/ice cream I guess I feel like that’s the reward for being publicly humiliated.

  2. Linda Merrill says:

    Rose, I feel your pain! If you think it gets any better as you get older let me let you in on a secret….It doesn’t. I am now 62 years old, living at home with both my 90 year old parents who are celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary on the 25th of this month. Needless to say I am grateful to have them with me so that together we can share the joys of Medicare and Social Security not to mention countless senior citizen discounts and early bird meals.

    However, the downside to this blessing is the curse of having to take them shopping – in public no less! The most recent story is when I took them to Costco for food shopping. Needless to say after they both got onto their motorized shopping carts and took off I went on my merry way. I caught up to them some time later and found a small crowd around them stifling giggles and smiles as the two of them were yelling at each other. Mom is announcing not only to my father but anyone in a 50 mile radius that “I want it hard” while my father is telling her, NO! That he wants it soft!”

    The virtues of buying whipped cream cheese verses brick cream cheese was not what the crowd considered the topic of conversation that my parents were having. One hour later once the sales associates coaxed me out of the back of one of the freezer cabinets, I got my parents through the check out and surrendered my Costco membership card. I still have BJ’s and Sam’s Club…..but for how long?

    • Amy Conley says:

      Sorry but I am rolling here! Sounds like my own shopping experience with not one male subject, but TWO! One is almost 80, the other almost 7. BOTH of them headed to the cologne section of Kohl’s as soon as we walked through the door. I had to rush over to stop them from spraying 50 different perfumes/colognes on their bodies. I told them in the air, or on a piece of paper ONLY! Then they could choose ONE and I would put it on them. My grandson was with me for school shopping and I don’t really consider cologne a school supply, but he does. So the following week I went to the outlet mall and got him some cologne, which he wears, daily. My father-in-law on the other hand, I just have to watch, closely wherever cologne samples are displayed. The odors I’ve driven home with….sheesh.

    • Rose Gordon says:

      Linda, as usual, I giggled through your entire comment. Yeah, I’d steer clear of Costco for a while!

    • Rose Gordon says:

      I probably shouldn’t post this…but I will…

      When I was 18 my parents bought a “new to them” house that needed some fixing up. My mom and I went to the hardware store to get some caulk, only my mom for some reason doesn’t pronounce it caulk, but rather cock, so when she asked the young man who worked there where his cock was I nearly exploded with laughter as he just started at her–stunned silent. Finally he goes, “You mean the caulk…that the store owns, right?”

  3. Amy Conley says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY Rose’s mother!! And good for you Rose for wearing that hat! LOL I got this similiar treatment done to me on my EIGHTEENTH birthday, talk about a shocker! And I was already the mother of twins!! You’d think a “mother’ would be treated with a bit of respect. Nope, not in my family.

  4. Cami says:

    Thank you my sweet and beautiful baby girl. Today has been wonderful. Your father took me fishing so I would show him my bobbers. We had a great time!!!

    I’m glad that I insire you to buy cool stuff. I love that statue and think you should put it back where we had it to begin with.

    I absolutely love that picture of me and your boys!!! My second favorite is of you in the happy birthday fish hat. Bahahahaha. I think after dinner I’ll have to go look for it. You want me to post it???? Just kidding.

    Seriously, thank you for the birthday wishes and great present. Your mama loves you very much.

  5. Happy Birthday, Rose’s mom!

    I would die if someone did that to me! Though, for my sixteenth birthday we were listening to an oldies station and all I really wanted to hear was “Happy Birthday, Angie, who is turning sweet 16 today!” and then playing that song, but no dice. My former stepfather thought it was a stupid idea.

    • Rose Gordon says:

      I can’t remember how old I was when my parents sent my birthday in to the radio, and I was randomly picked as the winner. I was horrifically embarrassed though because 1. I didn’t want to hear anything over the radio except music, and 2. I *think* they called in and gave them a family name I have that I did NOT want broadcasted all over the world. Alas, life stinks when you’re a kid sometimes.

  6. There’s never a dull moment when you do a blog post. Hee hee.

  7. Tami says:

    So sweet!! The older I get, the more I need my mom. Sure wish I had realized this when I was younger!! :)

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