I'm the victim of myself, Just for Fun, Randomness

My hat is off to two people who don’t even exist!

I have to admit, I am AWFUL when it comes to some of the skills and traits I give my fictional characters. Except maybe Emma, while my husband can fly fish as good or better than Paul and Marcus, I’m about as hopeless at it as poor Emma who tries but heaven help her, she just can’t. But some of the others, well, I’ve graciously given them the skills I wish I had. Two that come to mind right off are Madison and Juliet. For the truth is, I cannot paint worth crapola. And last night only proved it.

About two weeks ago I passed a store while navigating an unchartered part of the city for me. The store was called Pinot’s Palette. Intrigued, when I got home, I googled it and thought. “Oh, that would be fun.”

And don’t get me wrong, it was, but I am NOT an artist, and for your entertaining pleasure, I have included some pictures of my first public attempt at painting…

The object was to paint a schooner–the name of the wagon pioneers used. Here’s how it is supposed to look:


First, she said to paint a straight line across the bottom third of the canvas:


Then she gave us very good directions about drawing lines to make the “box” part of the wagon and the scallops along the top. I didn’t think it could even be possible to mess this up, but…



It was passable, and actually what I’d consider fair, until I got the to last “scallop” then oops… I think I’d made them too close together, thus resulting in having to make the last one giagantic in order to reach the back edge.

Then we were told to fill in the background red. Which was perfect, I thought, I can cover up and “re-construct” my scallops. So I did…

Sort of fixed


The problem is that I had to paint down in order to fix the scallops, and when I did this ingenious maneuver, it shrank the size of the canopy (duh!) and suddenly it was too small in comparison to the wooden bottom, leading me to have to paint lines lower to show the edge of the box. (Later, and I don’t have a good picture of it, trying to paint the canopy in a way that would hide the horizontal red line going through it was a bear!).

Then as you can see, we did the ground.

At this point, I looked at what I had, then turned to my friend, who is so comfortable as she paints that she’s eating a sugar cookie, and said, “This is an awful disaster. I can only imagine what the finished product will be like.”

Sweet friend that she is, she looked at my painting, shrugged and said, “Don’t worry, you’re more a Brooke.”

“A Brooke?” What in the world?

“Yeah, wasn’t it her who claimed to have painted those atrocious paintings in the drawing room?”

Oh my lands. I knew it was looking bad, but not THAT bad!

Next came filling the canopy, which was another disaster because I somehow managed to drag the paint over the top edge of the canopy and onto the red…

Almost done

So I tried to fix it by redefining the red outline…and added the wheels.



With now such a lovely outline along the top of the schooner, I knew when we did the final touches to the background I’d have to blend that into the rest or I’d never live down such a mess.



We were told to mix a bit of black and a lot of red to make “plum” to do the corners of the red and as you can see mine came out black. I guess there were tornadoes in the area that day. Otherwise, I can’t explain it.

Though I cannot paint worth beans, I had a great time and I’d strongly recommend that if any of you have anything like this available to go do where you’re at, go do it. Even if it’s just once, it’s definitely an experience to have. I never knew I wanted a pioneer schooner hanging in my living room, but now I have one, and I must say, I’m starting to like it even if I’ll have to stash it in the closet whenever company comes to visit.


19 thoughts on “My hat is off to two people who don’t even exist!”

  1. This is one of my favorite things to do! I’ve got about 10-15 paintings that I’ve done over the past 3 or 4 years. Some are hanging and some are stacked up in various rooms because I don’t like them and/or don’t have anywhere to hang them. I’m not an artist by any means, but it is great fun and everyone should try it if they have the opportunity. I think you did a great job!

    1. Thanks, Heather. I had a great time. I’ve been scanning their website to see what other things I might like to paint Some look incredibly difficult and other just plain fun. My friend had such a good time she was already planning who all we should invite to go with us!

  2. I like it. And considering it is your first painting it’s good. I went through a painting phase in highschool and I never could get the shading right either. Although instead of doing a schooner I always did mountains. Apparently where you live makes a difference in what you are taught to paint. I can tell you I would never be able to paint a schooner like that. I really can only do mountains and trees since its really hard to mess thouse up LOL.

    1. They have people telling you what to do every step of the way, which helps. We painted schooners of all things because it was an Oklahoma pride night, and the schooner is the mascot of OU, one of our two main state universities. Thursday, they’re painting a cowboy.

      I wouldn’t say mountains and trees aren’t possible to mess up. I can think of someone (albeit he’s fictitious, too) who cannot paint trees and landscapes.

  3. I’m sorry it doesn’t turn out the way you wanted it too. But thank you for making me laugh and look crazy smiling sitting on the carpeted floor at campus waiting for my ride home from school. Art major here, you’re doing just fine. A little more practice and you’ll get the hang of it.

  4. I like it, too. I wish I had the artistic skills of Allison, the heroine of my first romance novel, “Tempting Jonah.” Then maybe I could create my own covers for my books. Seriously, I’m glad I can’t paint or I wouldn’t have gotten such a lovely cover for that book or had such good memories of my friend who painted it (he passed away last month from cancer at the age of 47).

    As for other talents my characters have that I don’t:
    I’d like to be able to sing

    1. Oh to paint a book cover! Then it’d truly be one of a kind… My husband is a relation to a very famous artist (who is still alive today, so it’s not too much of a stretch) and he’s good at painting. About a year and a half ago, he (my husband, not the professional artist) volunteered to paint one of my book covers. Then didn’t have the time and offered to draw it instead. Oh dear. it was truly one of a kind then, too, just for the wrong reasons. Fortunately, I found a good graphic designer.

      I can’t sing, either. Well, I can, everyone can sing, just not well.

      1. That’s neat about your husband being related to a famous artist. Glad you found the graphic designed. And yeah, I can sing, but definitely not well. Jay Galloway, a/k/a hero of “Mr. Short, Dark…& Funny” can sing.

  5. My hat goes off to you, Rose, for being brave and tackling a new form of expression. Just as in painting, writing is a form of expression that evolves over time, patience, and practice. Although it did not turn out as you wanted it to, you were brave enough to give it a go. Thanks for making me smile today!

    1. Thanks for the encouragement, Sandy. It was fun–flaws and all. Of course you won’t see my work hanging in a gallery anytime soon (or ever) but it was fun and as you said, it takes time, patience and practice.

  6. I actually laughed OUT LOUD in my office, when I saw your second picture. I must tell you, when I saw the first one (the sample), I thought, “good grief, if that’s her worst, that’s amazing!” Then I continued reading…and LOL’d. However, your end product is really not too bad! I am so NOT artistic at all! I can cut and paste!

    Thank you for sharing!

    1. I’m glad I could make you laugh, Tami. I can cut and paste, too. The coloring, however, I have a problem with.

      I’m glad you didn’t think the end result was so bad. Really, it could have been worse. Believe me. It could have.

  7. LOL! The painting looks decent. Looking at your painting as a whole, it kind of looks like an abandoned wagon that will soon be engulfed in flames. (Which works too)

    I always thought I had good artistic skills (drawing and painting skills) until I took the grade 9 art course in high school. In particular, this one class everyone was assigned to draw a portrait of the shoe they were wearing. I remember working at it in class, like everyone else and my art teacher was walking around the class room to monitor everyone’s progress and give advice and constructive criticism.She finally made it to my desk. After, looking at my work for about one minute, I was told point blank by my art teacher, “You can never be an artist.” (insert Russian accent). My response was, “Oh.” LOL.She really wasn’t a mean teacher, she is just very blunt and I guess not too sensitive to the feelings of others. I guess in art, you need to be brutally honest, but I must admit, I was very offended, all my elementary teachers had told me I was great at drawing and painting.

    1. That wagon NEEDS to be engulfed with flames.

      Oh no, I feel so felt my face flush at your story. Art teachers certainly have a way of being blunt, don’t they? I had a choir teacher who positioned me (the shortest kid in class) in the second row behind someone who was shielding the mike! I so understand your feelings.

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